A Case Against Youth Ministry Part 7

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Family Worship at Church
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A Case against Youth Ministry and Education as it is Commonly Practiced
Part 7: Discipline, Youth Culture and Generational Isolation

We are born in iniquity (Ps. 51:5). We go astray from the womb (Ps. 58:3) and we are liars from birth (Ps. 58:3). Youth are prone toward the lusts of the flesh (2 Tim. 2:22) and foolishness is bound up in the heart of children (Prov. 22:15). If they are left to themselves, without proper discipline, they will do foolish things that will (or at least should) bring shame and embarrassment to their parents (Prov. 29:15) and will ultimately cast their own souls into Hell (Prov. 23:14).

So what is God’s remedy for the foolish hearts of children? Parents, and the biblical use of the means of grace. The biblical use of the rod (Prov. 22:15, Prov. 29:15), rebuke (Prov. 27:5, 6; 29:15), training and admonition (Eph. 6:4) will drive foolishness from their hearts (Prov. 22:15) and deliver their souls from Hell (Prov. 23:14).

These things are the jobs of parents. It is the parents’ responsibility to know what their children are doing. It is the parents’ responsibility to know what the children are learning. It is the parents’ job to know what their children are saying and doing. It is the parents’ responsibility to know when their children need the rod and to administer it. It is the parents’ responsibility to know when their children need reproof, rebuke, instruction and then to give it. And it is the parents’ responsibility to know what their children need prayer for and to pray it. God designed the role of parent to meet many vital needs in the life of every child!

Question: So what happens when foolish children are removed from their parents and grouped with their foolish peers for most of their waking hours?

Answer: Youth culture.

You end up with children who do things that their parents do not know about. You end up with children who do not receive the rod when they need it (Prov. 13:24, 22:15, 29:15). Children who walk with those that they should not walk with (Prov. 13:20; 14:7). Children who do not receive the discipline, instruction and prayer that they desperately need. Children who are not brought up in the way that they should go (Prov. 22:6). You end up with fools feeding off fools to do ever more foolish things.

You end up with children who love and value their peers. Children who love and value what their peers love and value. Children who seek the approval of their peers and try to please their peers. Children who are raised by their peers and think that life is all about having youthful fun with their youthful friends feeding their youthful lusts at their parents’ expense.

You end up with children who throw fits when they don’t get their own way. Children who resent authority. Children who resent being told what to do. Children who disobey their parents (2 Tim. 3:2). Children who are insolent toward those that they should honor (Is. 3:4, 5) and children who grow up to be big children and oppressors of society (Is. 3:4, 5, Ecc. 10:16).

You end up with youth gangs and lawless self-centered brats, many of whom take these attitudes into adulthood and raise a generation far worse than their own.

You end up with generational gaps in which the different ages hardly know each other nor enjoy each others company. You end up with the various age groups looking at each other from a distance each one thinking the other is strange and out of touch. You end up with youth whom are very much isolated from the potential wisdom of their elders. Again, even the secular observer can see the foolishness of the peer segregation that we practice

“It is absurd and anti-life to be part of a system that compels you to sit in confinement with people of exactly the same age and social class. That system effectively cuts you off from the immense diversity of life and the synergy of variety; indeed it cuts you off from your own past and future, sealing you in a continuous present much the same way television does.”
-John Taylor Gotto Dumbing Us Down p.27

“By isolating young and old from the working life of places, and by isolating the working population from the lives of young and old, a fundamental disconnection of the genera­tions has occurred. The griefs that arise from this have no synthetic remedy, and no vibrant, satisfying communities can come into being where young and old are locked away.”
-John Taylor Gotto Dumbing Us Down p.62-63

Admittedly this applies much more to public schools and even to Christian schools than to many church youth ministries, but what is the average youth ministry than a mimicking and a continuation of the unbiblical principles of education which form the basis for most public and Christian schools? Why should the church give momentum to these destructive practices?

Parents can not possibly carry out the biblical instuctions they are given concerning the discipline of their children if their children are always somewhere else being dicsipled by someone else. And neither will their children learn to enjoy the company of widely diverse age groups if they are trained to frolic with their own age group.

So how in the world can the church reverse the tide of these destructive practices if the church practices them whenever it meets?

A Case Against Youth Ministry Part 6

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A Case against Youth Ministry and Education as it is Commonly Practiced
Part 6: Just Killing Time

Strong relationships with our children are built by the biblical use of a great deal of time together; walking with each other, talking with each other, listening to each other, worshiping together, working together, working through problems together, being close to each other, etc.

By the biblical use of time together, we can get to know our children like we ought to. We can get to know their strengths, their weaknesses, their fears, their worries, where they need discipleship, where they need discipline, where they need instruction, when they need reproof and rebuke and what they need prayer for. We can show them that we love them, care for them and that we have their best interests at heart. We can show them that we are here to help them, guide them and instruct them. We can show them that we are here to protect them and we can give them a consistent biblical example to follow. In short we can win their hearts! But take away the time and the relationships will necessarily wither.

Generally speaking, what consumes our time will capture our heart and “where our heart is, there our treasure will be also” (Matthew 6:21). In other words, what we focus our children’s time and energy upon will likely become their heart’s treasure. Focus your son’s time and energy on football and it is highly likely that he will begin to love and treasure football, focus his time and energy away from football and it is highly unlikely that he will come to love and treasure football. Focus your daughter’s time and energy on a career outside the home and she will likely come to love and treasure the idea of having a successful career outside the home. Time must be used carefully and thoughtfully.

For this reason it is nearly impossible for most of today’s parents to truly win the hearts of their children. Today’s families spend no time together. The average family’s week begins by father running off to his career, mother running off to her career and the children being left to be raised by emotionally disconnected strangers in daycare and school. While there is nothing inherently wrong with family members spending some time away from each other, the fact of the matter is that most families are almost constantly separated. Work, daycare and school separate families by day; while sports, extracurricular activities, hobbies and friends eat up the evenings. Nursery, Sunday school, children’s church and youth groups then separate the family on Sundays.

The most fundamental aspects of family relationships have been virtually destroyed in our day. The responsibility of teaching children has been taken away from the parents and given to “specialists” removed from the parents’ presence and now the parents no longer feel competent to teach their own children. Children are no longer instructed by their parents, or even in the presence of their parents, with the result that most children no longer view their own parents as competent instructors or even trustworthy counselors.

In addition to this, we have trained our young people to believe that they are here on Earth to be off having fun with their peer groups, doing whatever they happen to be interested in and that the family’s schedule is to revolve around their activities. The time and duties that God built into the family structure have been removed and/or parceled out to others with devastating consequences.

Most families have become little more than a group of individuals each doing their own thing that happen to sleep in the same house. The covenantal family structure, as God created it, has been disassembled and the members alienated from each other. The family has been shattered into a kind of lawless individualism and, sadly, we have come to view this as normal. But there are consequences to tearing apart God’s created order and there is an undeniable connection between the dismembering of the biblical family and the decay of society.

It is the family that supplies the members of the Church and the members of the State. It is the family which supplies the finances of the Church and the finances of the State. Strong godly families will bless the Church and State, while corrupt families will hurt both the Church and the State; fill the family full of problems and the Church and the State will suffer the fallout and will have to expend time, energy and resources in dealing with those problems. Listen to the words of Richard Baxter(1615-1691):

“A holy, well-governed family is the pre­parative to a holy and well-governed church. If masters of families did their parts, and sent such polished materials to the churches, as they ought to do, the work and life of the pastors of the church would be unspeakably more easy and delightful; it would do one good to preach to such an auditory, and to catechise them, and instruct them, and examine them, and watch over them, who are prepared by a wise and holy education, and understand and love the doctrine which they hear. To lay such polished stones in the building is an easy and delightful work…

Well-governed families tend to make a happy state and commonwealth; a good education is the first and greatest work to make good magis­trates and good subjects, because it tends to make good men. Though a good man may be a bad magistrate, yet a bad man cannot be a very good magistrate. The ignorance, or worldliness, or sensuality, or enmity to godliness, which grew up with them in their youth, will show itself in all the places and relations that ever they shall come into.”

-Richard Baxter A Christian Directory

What better way is there to destroy the family than to dissolve their God-ordained relationships? Separate them, take away their time together and they cannot function as a family was intended to function. Separate them and then they cannot accomplish what God meant for families to accomplish in the lives of each other. Cause one generation to neglect their duties and the next will hardly know that those duties exist.

So what does all this have to do with Youth Ministries? Am I blaming all of societies problems on Youth Ministries? Not at all. The problem is much deeper than that, what I am saying is that the solution needs to begin with the church; the church should quit validating family dismemberment by mimicking the world’s family divisive ways.

Our children hardly make it out of the womb and we start stuffing them in the church nursery! The world has daycare; we have sanctified Sunday daycare. The world has segregated schools; we have segregated Sunday schools. The world has high school; we have youth groups etc, etc, etc. We mimic the world like a little boy who wants to do everything his big brother does.

Shouldn’t the church be leading the charge to put families back together? Shouldn’t the church counter the direction of the world rather than walking in the way with it? How can we keep segregating families and then bemoan the fact that they are falling apart? How can the church make families stronger if it keeps separating them? And if the church does not start bringing families back together and teaching them to fulfill their God given tasks and duties towards each other, who exactly is going to do it?

• In Conclusion

Dear brethren, you don’t have to be exceptionally observant to recognize that the family is languishing in our day. It is interesting to note that even some secular writers are beginning to understand what much of the church does not: that constantly separating families in the name of education is disastrous. John Taylor Gotto in his book Dumbing Us Down writes

“But no large-scale reform is ever going to work to repair our damaged children and our damaged society until we force open the idea of "school" to include family as the main engine of education. If we use schooling to break children away from parents—and make no mistake, that has been the central function of schools since John Cotton announced it as the purpose of the Bay Colony schools in 1650 and Horace Mann announced it as the purpose of Massachusetts schools in 1850 - we're going to continue to have the horror show we have right now.

The "Curriculum of Family" is at the heart of any good life. We've gotten away from that curriculum; it's time to return to it…”
Dumbing Us Down p.37

And again

“Yet it appears to me as a schoolteacher that schools are already a major cause of weak families and weak communities. They separate parents and children from vital interaction with each other and from true curiosity about each other's lives. Schools stifle family originality by appropriating the critical time needed for any sound idea of family to develop—then they blame the family for its failure to be a family. It's like a malicious person lifting a photograph from the developing chemicals too early, then pronouncing the photographer incompetent.”
Dumbing Us Down p.74

The constant separation is making family relationships very shallow at best. It is dissolving the very bonds that could potentially make it strong. We focus all of our children’s time and energy away from the family and then wonder why we don’t have their hearts as they get older? The family is divided and then we wonder why it has been conquered (Matthew 12:25)? We focus their hearts on everything but family and then wonder why they do not treasure it?

Why should the church give its stamp of approval to the world’s separation of families by having more separation? Why do that when there are other, more biblical ways to carry out discipleship? Shouldn’t families be together in the household of the Lord? Isn’t further separation about the last thing that most families need right now?

A case against youth ministry Part 5

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Sunday School/ Youth Groups

A Case against Youth Ministry and Education as it is Commonly Practiced
Part 5: An Unbiblical View of Education

Many of the methodologies implemented in youth ministry and education exhibit an unbiblical view of education and discipleship on the part of those leading the ministries. More specifically I am speaking of the peer orientation, peer segregation, special interest groupings, family dismemberment and the classroom setting it often seems to be limited to.

One pastor, in defense of Sunday school programs, insisted that “children must learn according to their level of understanding and common life experiences”. While there are obviously some times and instances in which it is proper teach children “according to their level of understanding”, statements such as these often presuppose that efficiency of factual intake should structure our educational methods (and that peer segregation is conducive to factual intake).

Such a view of education would seem to be primarily concerned with the shortest, most efficient route to acquire the optimum amount of knowledge, for this reason the differing ages must be separated from each other. If we teach at a ten-year old level, the five-year olds won’t get it, and if we teach at a five-year old level, the ten-year olds won’t learn as much. If we mix the two, it will slow everybody down and somebody might (perish the thought!) get bored.

This view of education is very often taken another step further in the use of nurseries and children’s church. Children are viewed as a distraction to learning efficiency so they are removed from the adults. They are seen more as a nuisance to be removed than a blessing to be trained.

Scriptural education, however, is covenantal in nature. It is relationship oriented. It is not structured by efficiency, but by what will produce the most intimate and harmonious relationship with God first and then with men (Jer. 9:23; Matt. 22:36-40; 2 Peter 1:5-9).

God did not establish schools with special classrooms and special teachers to deal with groups of children severed from their family relationships. God established covenantal families in which the parents could walk with, talk with, live with, love, train, and gain the hearts of their age-integrated children. It is in this atmosphere, where the parents have the hearts of children, that biblical education can be most truly carried out. It’s my contention here that our unbiblical view of education and our unbiblical methods of carrying it out are destroying the family as God intended it to function.

The responsibility of biblical education is placed on the parents, and more specifically, the father (Gen. 18:19; Deut. 4:9-10; 6:7; 11:19; Prov. 1:8, 2:1, 3:1, 4:1, 10, 20; 5:1, 7; 6:1, 20; Eph. 6:4 for a few examples) and is based in everyday family life, as most clearly brought out in Deuteronomy 6. It is aimed at winning the hearts of the children to the parents, that the parents might direct their hearts to God (Prov. 23:26).

By removing children from their parents to be taught by “experts”, the State has created the illusion in the minds of most parents (and children) that parents are not able to properly educate their own children and that it is not really their responsibility anyway. This taking away of responsibility has promoted the further abdication of responsibility. The burden of educating has been removed from the parents and now they rarely think about it anymore. Fathers don’t even seem to remember that they were the ones given responsibility for the education of their children by God; responsibility was taken away from fathers and now fathers don’t know that they are responsible, are we supposed to think that this is only a coincidence? Isn’t this just another twist to the welfare mentality so prevalent in our day? You start giving people hand-outs and soon they will forget their own responsibilities and expect them as an unalienable right.

The State has sold parents the very attractive lie that they can relax, someone else will educate their children for them and that they really couldn’t do a very good job anyway. They have been made to feel inadequate and incompetent to teach and counsel their own children! Parents no longer teach their children or are even present when their children are being taught, and children no longer look to their parents for answers. The State has severed one of the main arteries of family life and dealt a diabolical blow to the family by means of “education”. And rather than stitching the family back together, churches are adding more segregating programs in a vain attempt to prop the ailing family up. Meanwhile the family is still bleeding to death!

Rather than confronting and refuting the lies of the State, the church is giving them the “amen” byway of mimicking the State. Many aspects of youth ministry and education have simply become a continuation of the State’s educational methods and family divisiveness. The State removes children from their parental supervision; the Church removes children from their parental supervision. The State segregates by peer groupings; the Church segregates by peer groupings. The State has special teachers severed from the context of family; the Church has special teachers severed from the context of family. What are we doing?

• In Conclusion

Please do not misunderstand; I am NOT saying that other people should not be able to teach our children. I am NOT saying that parents are the only suitable teachers. God gave the gift of teaching to the church and our children need that gift of teaching as much as the parents. I love to have my children exposed to a great variety of teachers! But this does not mean that it has to be in a context severed from family relationships. Exposure to various teachers does not have to remove father and mother from their roles and responsibilities by completely breaking apart the family structure.

Once again brethren, where do we learn such a view of education in the Bible? Where does the Bible even hint that it is wise to remove children from both parents and parents from their children in order to get a proper education? Where does the Bible even hint that it is wise to separate children into peer groups in order to teach them? Where does Scripture teach us that efficiency should structure our educational methods? Where does the Bible tell us that education is all about grade point averages and good jobs? Where is it??? Such a view of education is built more upon the logic of man than the wisdom of Scripture.

If education is really all about the efficient learning of facts, then let’s get rid of the kids and segregate everybody, we’re holding each other back. But if education is all about glorifying God through relationships with Him and with each other then perhaps we should find a better and more biblical way to do things. If the church does not turn things around, who’s going to do it?

A case against youth ministry Part 4

A Case against Youth Ministry and Education as it is Commonly Practiced
Part 4: Keeping and Losing the Heart

In 2 Samuel 15, we have recorded for us the sad account of Absalom’s rebellion against his father, King David.

In verse 6, we are told that Absalom “stole the hearts of the men of Israel” away from his father. In this simple statement we learn at least three things. First, a person can “have” the heart of another or even of a multitude. Secondly, a person can lose the heart of another or even of a multitude. And thirdly, someone can steal the heart of a person or even a multitude away from another.

We also learn in this passage that when David had the hearts of the people they loved him and willingly followed him, but when Absalom took their hearts they followed Absalom and rebelled against King David.

And lastly, for our purposes here, we learn from this passage something about how hearts are won, kept and taken: Absalom talked to the people, sympathized with the people and looked out for the people’s interest (v. 3, 4); he touched the people (v. 5) and spent a great deal of time with the people (v. 6, 7). In this way Absalom gained the hearts of the people and the people in turn began to love and follow him.

By contrast, David was obviously distant and out of touch with both Absalom and the people. He had no idea what was going on right under his own nose for so long a time. Simply by doing nothing much at all, David lost the hearts of the people to someone else.

Brethren, isn’t this passage rich with application to us today? Don’t we see so many parents in our own day who are not spending time with their children in any biblical manner and they’re losing them to someone else or something else? Don’t we see so many children who once seemed to love and follow their parents now loving and following someone or something else? Don’t we see children by the multitude who come to rebel against their own parents? Aren’t we witnessing the countless loss, in our own day, of the children of Christian parents?

This is all the more sad when we consider that it would seem that God has wired their little hearts to naturally be given to us, their parents, in the first place. But just like king David we first lose touch with them and then we lose them. Watch the average young child as it is sat down and left in a daycare or nursery of some sort, watch their little heart break as they watch their parents walk away from them and leave them with a group of strangers; all they want is mom and dad.

But watch that same child as time goes by and they have been repeatedly left at daycare, school, nursery, Sunday school and all the rest. Something changes in their hearts as they are constantly pulled (or pushed) away from mother and father and made to spend their time doing other things with other people. And when this constant separation bears the fruit of alienation in their teenage years we act surprised, cry and wonder why this has happened, but isn’t it obvious when we stop and think about it?

If we are going to have children who willingly follow us, we need to weld their hearts to our own while they are yet young. No wonder David’s other son Solomon cried out to his own child in Proverbs 23:26, “My son, give me your heart….”.

Let’s be honest, brethren. It is often very difficult to make time for our children and pull ourselves away from the many other things we need to do; it’s difficult to even want to spend time with them sometimes and a multitude of family divisive programs at church really doesn’t help matters. What are these programs but one more blow among many at the cohesion of the family structure and the parent-child relationship; another wedge between our hearts.

Please consider this as you continue reading; doesn’t the fact the church is losing children to the world on a massive scale simply exhibit that we the parents, like King David, have lost their hearts on a massive scale?

A case against youth ministry Part 3

A Case against Youth Ministry and Education as it is Commonly Practiced
Part 3: The Sufficiency of Scripture Part 1

• The Sufficiency of Scripture

“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.”
-2 Timothy 3:16, 17

“The whole counsel of God, concerning all things necessary for his own glory, man's salvation, faith, and life, is either expressly set down in scripture, or by good and necessary consequence may be deduced from scripture…”
-The Westminster Confession of Faith and The1689 London Baptist Confession Chapter 1, Paragraph 6

“The supreme judge by which all controversies of religion are to be determined, and all decrees of councils, opinions of ancient writers, doctrines of men, and private spirits, are to be examined, and in whose sentence we are to rest, can be no other but the Holy Spirit speaking in the Scripture.”
-The Westminster Confession of Faith and The 1689 London Baptist Confession Chapter 1, Paragraph 10

Dear Brethren,

The ultimate question in any matter of controversy is this: What do the scriptures reveal about this subject, what does God say to us in His Word? For those who profess to be the children of God this ought to be the only real question of any significance. Ultimately this should be the beginning and end of every conflict.

In the scriptures of the Old and New Testaments we have all that we need for our sanctification (John 17:17). We have all that we need to be “perfect” and “thoroughly furnished unto all good works” (2 Timothy 3:16, 17). And we have been given “all things pertaining to life and godliness through the knowledge of Him…” (2 Peter 1:2-4)

If we are going to debate methodologies of discipleship and education as they are commonly practiced and whether they are beneficial or harmful to our families, then haven’t we entered into a debate having to do with sanctification, good works, life and godliness? And if that is the case then isn't the Bible sufficient to answer such a debate? Shouldn't we be able to defend our position and practices from scripture?

It’s the premise of the following pages that the Bible is indeed sufficient to answer such a controversy and that it alone can give us an authoritative answer. Those who wish to make the scriptures vague and indifferent to the subject must then still prove the scriptures indifference from the scriptures. As the Westminster confession so aptly put it, the Bible is “The supreme judge by which all controversies of religion are to be determined…”

“To the Law and to the Testimony…” (Isaiah 8:20)

• Youth Ministry as it is commonly practiced is entirely foreign to Scripture.

It has come to be my understanding over the years that for something to be “biblical” it must have been derived from Scripture in one of three ways:

1. By explicit command.
2. By unavoidable implication (necessary consequence), or
3. By normative example

If a belief or a practice cannot be shown to have been derived from scripture in at least one of these three ways it cannot be said to be biblical.

So with the sufficiency of scripture in mind let me ask you these questions: Where in Scripture do we find the idea of entirely breaking apart the family in order to teach them how to have relationships? Where do we find the idea of removing children from the authority and supervision of their parents in order to group them together according to age, under the supervision of a special teacher for intense periods of “discipleship” in a classroom setting? Where does God ask for such youth ministry programs? Where does He suggest that we have them or where does He hint that we should do such things? Where is it implied in scripture or where can it be deduced “by good and necessary consequence”?

Where do we find the Apostolic Church practicing such a ministries or giving us instructions concerning them? They are given the commission to go and make disciples at the end of the book of Matthew and we see them carry out their commission in the rest of the New Testament, but where do we even see a hint of the modern youth ministry movement?

Not only is there an absence of such commands and examples in the Bible, but families are often spoken of as being together at the hearing and teaching of God’s word (Deut. 29:11; Joshua 8:33-35; 2 Chron. 20:13; Neh. 10:28, 29; Joel 2:15-17; Matt. 14:21; Matt. 15:38; Acts 16:31-34). Paul assumes that children will be with the adults in the worship service (Col. 3:20; Eph. 6:1). Jesus seems to have had children around Him frequently while He was teaching (Matt. 18:2; 19:13-15; 14:21; 15:38) and He was “greatly displeased” when the disciples tried to shoo them away (Mark 10:14).

While we have absolutely no instructions to segregate families or to remove children from their parents’ supervision into peer segregated classes and no examples to follow in scripture, we do have examples of entire families gathered together for the hearing and teaching of God’s Word, we have places where it is assumed that they are together, we have some places where they were commanded to be together and many places where the responsibility of discipleship is laid on the parents, which seems to assume that they would at least be there when it happens.

While making disciples is certainly biblical, peer segregated special interest grouping and the removal of children from their parents for intense periods of education has no basis in scripture at all. So why would we practice something that is contrary to the examples of scripture that we do have?

• Youth Ministry, as it is commonly practiced, both assumes and implies a deficiency in scripture.

Historically, the church has believed that “the whole counsel of God concerning all things necessary for His own glory, man’s salvation, faith and life, is either expressly set down or necessarily contained in the Holy Scripture” (1689 London Confession) and that scripture alone is sufficient to make us “complete” and “thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Tim. 3:16, 17) and that “in all controversies of religion, the church is finally to appeal to” the Scriptures (1689 London Confession).

If this is true, then where do we find youth minstries as they are commonly practiced in the scriptures? What texts do we “appeal to”? Where do we find the people of God segregating families or separating the children from their parents for educational purposes? Where do we find peer segregated special interest groupings? Where are these things taught? Where are they implied and where are the examples to follow?

If this methodology of discipleship is the best way to disciple our children, then why doesn't the Bible promote it or its component parts? And if it’s not the best way to disciple our children, why is the church promoting it? This question has to be answered by the proponents of such a system.

The fact that there is no biblical basis for these special youth programs as they are commonly practiced combined with the importance placed on it by modern Christians both implies and assumes that the Bible is deficient. How can you escape this conclusion? It implies that if all we had to build and structure our life on was the Bible, we would be missing something important. It implies that while the Bible has some good suggestions, man needed to come up with the really good programs. It implies that the church was lacking something it needed for 1,800 years. It implies that our methodologies do not have to come from scripture and that all that God did say about our methodologies of discipleship were just second rate suggestions that could be ignored and replaced with better ideas.

• In Conclusion

Brethren, where is the biblical support? It would seem that many of our modern ideas of education, and in particular Sunday school, as it is commonly practiced is entirely an invention of man. This seems to be attested to by the fact that Sunday school and other related ministries did not even exist until the 1800s. Even then Sunday school was only for orphans. Most of the historical body of Christ did not even think of doing such things; they didn't see them in scripture.

It is not enough to say “the Bible tells us to make disciples and this is how we are going to do it” for it could be done in many other ways. It must be shown from scripture that it is acceptable and good to do it that way. Can we honestly say, with the full conviction of biblical authority, that God is pleased with such methods of teaching people how to have biblical relationships with God and man? Doesn't the burden of proof lie with those who wish to practice such programs?

Let me ask the question one more time, where is the scriptural justification for these youth ministries as they are commonly practiced in the church today?

A case against youth ministry Part 2

A Case against Youth Ministry and Education as it is Commonly Practiced
Part 2: Root and Branches

Life is all about relationships. First and foremost with God, and then with our fellow man. Christ Himself teaches us this truth in Matthew 22: 35-40 where He tells us that the greatest commandment is to “Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all of your soul and with all of your mind.” This, the greatest commandment, deals with our relationship with God.

The second greatest commandment, Jesus tells us, is to “Love your neighbor as yourself.” This commandment deals with our relationship with our fellow man, and by far the most powerful and influential of our relationships with our fellow man is that of family. While there are times in which spiritual relationships must take precedence over our physical relationships (Matthew 10:34-39; 12:46-50), the role of the family in the life of our children simply cannot be replaced. So the second greatest commandment has to do with our relationships to our fellow man, the primary and foundational relationship being that of our family.

On these two commandments, Jesus tells us, “Hang all the law and the prophets.” In other words, all of Scripture (the law and the prophets) directs us to the proper fulfillment of these two relationships. Sound doctrine applied leads to sound practice and sound practice leads to sound relationships and strong families. Likewise, bad doctrine and bad practice lead to bad relationships and to weak and broken families.

The state of the family in turn affects the state of the church and the state of society, for the family is the infancy of the society. Listen to some of our Puritan forefathers in this regard:


"...so it is evident that families are the nurseries of all societies. And the first combinations of mankind, well-ordered families, naturally produce a good order in other societies. When families are under an ill discipline, all other societies, being ill-disciplined as a result, will feel that error in the first concoction.”

- Cotton Mather, A Family Well Ordered

“The way to make godly parishes, and godly countries, and godly kingdoms, is to make godly families. When sin as a plague spreadeth abroad, it beginneth in families”

- George Swinnock, Works Vol. 1

“Religion begins in individuals and passeth on to relatives, and lesser spheres of relationship make up greater: churches and commonwealths consist of families. There is a general complaint of the decay of the power of godliness and inundation of profaneness, and not without cause. I know no better remedy than domestic piety…”

- Oliver Heywood, The Family Altar, The Works of Oliver Heywood, Vol. 4

“We must have a special eye upon families, to see that they are well ordered, and the duties of each relation performed. The life of religion, and the welfare and glory of both the Church and the State, depend much on family government and duty. If we suffer the neglect of this, we shall undo all."

- Richard Baxter, The Reformed Pastor

"Now, the devil knoweth that this is a blow at the root, and a ready way to prevent the succession of Churches: if he can subvert families, other societies and communities will not long flourish and subsist with any power and vigor; for there is the stock from whence they are supplied both for the present and future."

"A family is the seminary of Church and State; and if children be not well principled there, all miscarrieth: a fault in the first concoction is not mended in the second; if youth be bred ill in the family, they prove ill in Church and Commonwealth; there is the first making or marring, and the presage of their future lives to be thence taken"

-Thomas Manton, Introduction to The Westminster Confession of Faith

“The relation of the Christian family to the Christian Church is of the closest and most solemn nature. It is both the type and the nursery of the Church. The Church rises out of the family, to which it is strikingly and beautifully analogous. Thus Christian parents are the nursing-fathers and the nursing-mothers of the Church.

Nor must we entirely overlook the moral relation of the Christian family to the State: it is close and vital. As families compose the fabric of the State, so the State derives its character and stability from the moral and religious character of those families. The Commonwealth will be what its domestic institution makes it. When society cease to be molded into families, and families cease to be sanctified by religion, "Ichabod " may be written upon the State- for its glory and its stability will have departed!”

- Octavius Winslow, The Ministry of the Home

As our society plunges into an advanced state of decay I believe it is simply a reflection of the state of our families. It is in this context that I would like to consider the issue of the education and discipleship of children as it is commonly practiced today. (When I speak of these matters as they are “commonly practiced”, I am simply speaking of the age segregated, special interest, family divisive methods that have been brought into the church from the culture around us rather than from Scripture.)

I would like to make it clear at the outset that I greatly admire and respect some great men and women who have used and promoted some of these methods of education and discipleship. By criticizing their beliefs I do not mean to imply that they are wicked people. I am not saying that these things are being practiced out of evil intentions, and as far as Sunday school is concerned I am not even criticizing all forms Sunday school. I personally believe that Sunday school could be carried out in numerous more biblical manners, if the church so desired.

I also know that many of you could tell me great things that God has done with Sunday schools, youth groups and all the rest. And as someone who spent many years teaching Sunday school myself, I could also tell you a few good stories, but this does not make the practice right. The fact that God uses something does not necessarily justify that something. The end does not justify the means.

I would also like to make it clear that I am not blaming the ills of our society on these methods of youth ministry, but rather on the prevalent mind set that lies behind our practices. It is my own belief that these ministries are more of a symptom than the sickness. But while I believe it is more of a symptom, I also believe that it is of great value to highlight the problem behind it - that of a church that has become molded and conformed to the world around it rather than to Scripture.

It is my own belief that the church has slowly let parents abdicate their responsibilities to the point that a vast majority of these parents are now almost entirely ignorant of them. The children of these parents have followed after the world and have gone on to raise generations that are far worse than their own. As already mentioned, families are now in a state of advanced decay and the society which is made-up of them is suffering for it. It is this decay of the church and family that is at the root of all of our problems!

We the church are the salt (a preservative against decay) and light (a guide) to an unbelieving society (Matt. 5:13-16) when we love, obey and adhere to the Word of God before their eyes and consciences. If we do not do this, society MUST necessarily fall under the weight of its own depravity and thus come under the judgment and wrath of God. Seen in this context, I believe that youth ministry as it is commonly practiced is not some peripheral unimportant side issue, but is part and parcel of society’s larger ills stemming from the same root.

A case against youth ministry Part 1

New at Polemos
Family Worship at Church
Sunday School/ Youth Groups

A Case Against Youth Ministry and Education as it is Commonly Practiced
Part 1: The Importance of the Matter

The church today, at least in America, stands on the brink of losing an entire generation of young people - God has forgotten our children. Why would He do such a thing? Scripture tells us why; because we have forgotten His Law. Hosea 4:6 says it very bluntly: “….because you have forgotten the Law of your God, I will also forget your children.”

What Law have we forgotten? Most of it, I would contend. Most specifically, in regards to our children, we have forgotten His Law concerning the raising, education and discipleship of our children. Parents have abdicated the God given duties of parenting to the point that they no longer even remember what they were anymore. Parents do not educate their own children, they do not disciple their own children and when all is said and done they barely even raise their own children.

Am I exaggerating? Listen to these statistics from A.C. Nielsen:

American youth watch an average of 1500 hours of T.V. per year. That’s an average of 29 hours a week or 1730 minutes a week.

American youth spend an average of 900 hours a year in the classroom. That’s an average of 17 hours a week or 1038 minutes a week (if school were to go year around).

But listen to this: American youth spend an average of 3.5 minutes (not hours) a week in meaningful conversation with parents. 3.5 minutes! That’s 182 minutes a year or about 3 hours! About 1500 hours a year with T.V., 900 hours a year in the classroom and about 3 hours a year in meaningful conversation with their parents.

Parents have handed the responsibility of parenting off to a myriad of other people and have forgotten that it is their responsibility. Society and even the church are geared to make this happen, and what has been the fruit of this in the church? Let me give you some more statistics:

There is the now famous “Report to the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee in 2001” by T.C. Pinkney that reported that 70% of teenagers involved in church youth groups stop attending church within two years of their high school graduation. Thinking that these numbers were too high a follow up report was done in 2002 that concluded that the number might actually be as high as 88%.

A well known national youth ministry says on their website that 2 out of 3 Christian teens will participate in a “graduation evacuation” from the body of Christ once they graduate high school. Another well known national youth ministry tells us that out of the youth in America at the time of World War II about 65 percent of them were “born again” Christians as adults. Of the youth of the Baby Boomer generation about 35 percent of them were “born again” Christians as adults. If the present trends continue only about 4 percent of the present generation will be “born again” Christians as adults.

So what’s the solution posed by many churches and youth ministries? Bigger and better youth ministries! As one national youth ministry says on their website:

“…the answer lies in raising the bar spiritually for teenagers, calling them to make a difference by taking Jesus Christ and the great commission seriously…..when students begin to share their faith they begin to own their faith, instead of borrowing it from their parents and their pastors.”

In other words, if we can just get them to share their faith they might actually start believing it. And we could look at other national youth programs that say much the same things; youth groups need to boldly evangelize and double their size. We need more youth gatherings, more youth camps and Christian rock and roll groups, etc.

Now while these ministries ought to be commended for their evangelistic zeal and their obvious good intentions it’s my contention that they are aggravating the problem. I find it ironic that during the very same time frame used by this last youth ministry leader to show the sharp decline of “Christian” youth staying Christian is the same time frame in which we have seen the modern explosion of youth ministry. Since World War II, the numbers of youth ministries have steadily increased while the numbers of youth who adopt their parents’ beliefs have steadily decreased, almost in an inverse proportion.

Isn’t it strange that the church of Jesus Christ has been steadily plodding along now for 2000 years without any special youth programs, without youth groups, without children’s church and even without Sunday school? Now all of the sudden when we see an explosion of youth ministries, taking to themselves the God given jurisdiction of parents, the young men and women who grew up in those ministries are all abandoning the church!

May I suggest that we have completely misdiagnosed the problem?

Christians are pointing at the statistics; they are pointing at the youth leaving the church and saying that this is the problem but I would like to suggest that this is not the problem at all but a symptom; a symptom of a far deeper problem that more youth programs will never touch.

In the past century or so, we have steadily wrenched the job of parenting away from the parents to whom God has given it and we have substituted in its place a pseudo-parenting performed by others who can never do it the way in which God intended it to be done. We have broken apart the family structure as God created it and the spiritual blessings, benefits and duties cannot be obtained or carried out in a non-family existence. We have foolishly abandoned God’s design for life, education and discipleship, and in our great human wisdom we have designed something “better” but it doesn’t work. In many respects we are just throwing gasoline on the fire. Until we get back to God’s design for the family all of our labors will only exacerbate the problem.

A case against youth ministry as commonly practiced.

While I have published parts of this on a couple of occasions I've recently been rewriting it again and hopefully I'll finish it this time. So here it is: A Case Against Youth Ministry and Education as it is Commonly Practiced

New at Polemos
Family Worship at Church
Sunday School/ Youth Groups

Introduction: A Case Against Youth Ministry and Education as it is Commonly Practiced

It was well over 15 years ago now, before I had any children of my own, that I first heard another Christian brother openly question the necessity and wisdom of youth ministries as they are commonly practiced in the church today. While I was a Sunday school teacher at the time, the whole subject didn’t seem to pertain to me as I had no children of my own and I listened with little interest as the pastor of our church rebuked such questions from the pulpit for an entire service one Sunday evening.

Some years later I heard another brother in Christ express similar concerns, and this time I listened with much greater interest as I now had three small children of my own and had frequently been horrified by the things that I had seen and heard from many of the youth who had grown up in these programs.

I spent the next three to five years wrestling with various aspects of parenting, youth education and discipleship in my own mind before coming to any solid convictions in my own heart concerning what the Scriptures had to say about these things. And as I began to discuss my growing convictions with other Christians, it became painfully evident to me that I was poking my finger into the eye of a sacred cow.

The following pages are the fruit of one particular Christian brother’s challenge to “make a case against” such ministries.

I am convinced from the bottom of my heart that the future of our country, the future of our churches and the future of our posterity are at stake in the issues addressed in these pages and for this reason I believe that they need to be discussed no matter how controversial some would like to make them out to be. I sincerely believe that controversy between brethren is not wrong. On the contrary, it is often very beneficial to the church as it forces us to think through matters. Controversy only becomes a problem when one or both sides of the matter fail to deal with the other in a Christ-like biblical manner.

To those who might just be begging to grapple with these issues, I would encourage you to give these matters some long and labored thought and prayer and not jump to any conclusions too quickly. All too often I have seen well meaning brethren latch on to some belief or practice that is new to them long before they have given it a sufficient amount of thought and made it a conviction of their own hearts. All too often these brethren will act in accordance to their new ideas, stir up strife in their local assemblies and then, as quickly as they jumped to their conclusions, they abandon them after they have stirred up bitterness between brethren and grieved the Spirit of God.

Too many others, on the other hand, will entirely shut out other points of view without giving them any serious thought at all. This, likewise, is no less grievous to the Spirit of God as it derails any chance for a thorough reformation of faults in the church. It is all to easy in our finite, fallen human flesh to assume that what we presently happen to believe is the correct view of things and we fail to consider that we may have missed some facts, misinterpreted some facts or maybe have even let some unbiblical presuppositions or prejudice color how we look at an issue. Such a refusal to consider that we may be wrong has the sad effect perpetuating our faults and violates the clear warnings and exhortations of Scripture. Isn’t this the point of such passages such as Proverbs 18:17?

“The first one to lead his cause seems right, until his neighbor comes and cross-examines him.”

A belief, a story or an idea may seem to be right at first glance but under careful scrutiny and cross-examination it might be found to be faulty. The errors of a matter may not be immediately apparent to us in our fallen and finite state of mind.

We Christians, of all men, ought to be those who are swift to hear and slow to answer back (James 1:19). Knowing our own propensity to error, we of all people should be those who consider every aspect of an issue carefully before accepting or rejecting a particular point of view.

So brethren, “Test all things; hold fast to that which is good.” (1 Thessalonians 5:12)

JKB

Family Integration

New at Polemmos
Family Worship at Church
Audio Links

1. Evangelism and Missions in the Family Intergated Church
   Voddie Baucham

2. Answering Objections to Uniting Church and Family
   Voddie Baucham

This second message by Voddie Baucham is really good! In it he answers such objections as: "Family Integrated Churches wont reach teens with unbelieving parents"
"Family Integrated Churches will alienate singles"
"Family Integrated Churches are inherently un-evangelistic"
"Family Integrated Churches are ignoring the calling of thousands of youth pastors"
and "Family Integrated Churches throw out the baby with the bath water"

Patriarchy and Theocracy

New at Polemos
Audio Links
Fatherhood/Manhood/Patriarchy

• Patriarchy and Theocracy
  Kevin Swanson • Nasty Words or Great Ideas?
  

The Fountain of...

"Marriage was made....by God himself, to be the fountain....of all other sorts and kinds of life in the commonwealth and in the Church."
-William Perkins

Such as families are....

"Such as families are, such as last the church and commonwealth must be"
- James Fitch (Puritan)

A Propagator of Vision

(The following is one of a series of articles written for another occasion but I thought it might be profitable to post them here as there seems to be a great deal of controversy and misunderstanding of the subject of family-integrated churches.)

What is a Family-Integrated Church?: A Propagator of Vision

Many of you may have never heard the term "family-integrated" before and are wondering exactly what it refers to. Others may perhaps equate it with an idolatrous form of family worship that has invaded some sectors of the church in recent years. Still others may equate it with those who are "against" Sunday school and youth groups. Ignorance, misunderstanding and even hostility seem to surround the use of the label "family-integrated" and it is my desire to simply try to define what we mean when we call ourselves a family-integrated church.

Let me assure you that when we use the term family-integrated we are not speaking of an unbiblical exaltation of the family above doctrinal beliefs and practices. Neither are we being so shallow as to just be against Sunday school and youth groups. In our minds, family-integration is something much deeper, more profound and far reaching.

It doesn't take a brilliant mind to see that society is falling apart all around us. Society is falling apart because the families which make up our society have already fallen apart. And while many Christians sit by and bemoan the fact that the world is falling apart, family-integration is our attempt to actually do something about it. We believe it is time to quit cursing the darkness while trying to maintain the status quo. We need to start lighting some candles!

Historically, the Church has believed and the scriptures have clearly taught that God has established three governmental institutions upon this earth: 1) the family, 2) the State and 3) the Church. These three governmental institutions are intimately related, deeply dependant on each other and even overlapping in many areas. Yet they are still separate institutions each having their own God-given duties and spheres of authority. Each one accountable to their Creator and each created to help the others.

When these institutions fulfill their God-given roles, things will go well for society. But when these institutions depart from their God ordained duties, the State will become tyrannical, the Church apostate and the family an ungodly mess. Such a society must necessarily suffer dire consequences.

This is where we find ourselves in twenty-first century America. Things are so muddled up in our day that we don't even seem to know where to start looking for the answers. This is where the Church must step up!

The answer to all of our problems is found in the scriptures of the Old and New Testament (Isaiah 8:20; 2 Timothy 3:16, 17) and their application must begin with the "family" or "household” of the living God (Ephesians 2:19; 1 Timothy 3:15). Family-integration is our attempt to restore biblical order to the relationships of the Church, family and State. It is our belief that both the Church and the State have done a great many things to lead parents to abdicate their responsibilities as parents, to the extent that most do not even know what they are any longer.

But not only do we wish to restore the relationship of family, church and State to a biblical order but we wish to communicate this biblical vision to parents that they might communicate it to their children, and their children to their children and so on; a vision of family in which fathers begin to lead and teach their families with purpose, intention and foresight, where wives and mothers embrace their God given roles in relation to the home and their husband, and where the children are disciples of their parents.

It is our belief that this vision must be past on to the men and women of the Church by the Pastors/Elders as they are those who have been given the charge to communicate "the whole counsel of God" to the people of God in a special manner (Acts 20:27). Generally speaking, the members of a church will not rise its leaders. Family Integration is our attempt to ignite this vision in the hearts of the Church.

We are not teaching anything new here as some seem to think. This is how the Church functioned for over 1800 years. We simply want to return to the Scriptural methodologies that the modern Church has in large measure abandoned for more popular ideas based on the "wisdom" of man.

The family is the nursery, or infancy, of the Church and State, as our Puritan forefathers put it. And when this biblical vision is not passed on from pastors to the parents and from the parents to their children, all three institutions must suffer the consequences; the latter generations suffering the accumulated effect of the prior generations’ delinquencies.

Brethren, if we don't summon up the courage to change things, what are we but cowards who are leaving the mess to our posterity to deal with?